Vlad Tepes Presents: Excerpts from Songs that I Have Horribly Corrupted

1. Blasphemous Rumours by Depeche Mode

I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think on his balls that God has a tumour
And when I die, I expect to find him nut-less…
(I suppose that is something of a blasphemous rumor,
but I do feel truly compelled to start it. If God made me,
he knew what he was getting into…)

2. Take a Dump on Me by Abba

This may sound absurd
but if you have spare turds
Won’t you set them free
Take a dump on me
Stand above my back
Open up your crack
On the count of three
Take a dump on me…

3. Han Solo by Def Leppard

I got to feel it in my butt, whoa-oh
I need your Jabba, don’t need your Hutt, whoa-oh
And I want
And I need
And I lust
Han Solo…

4. Africa by Toto ( I am surely going to hell for this one and the first one)

Can’t believe what I did that night
Guess I should have stuck to ritual masturbation
Two wrongs never made a right
Still I think I’ll spread my wealth across the nation
But I won’t go without a fight, hurry boy, death’s wating there for you…

CHORUS: Gonna take a lot to get me away from you
Not something specialists could ever do
I got the AIDS down in Africa
Gonna take my time to spread this great and deadly pla-ayyyyyy-ayy-ague oooh-oooh…

5. Don’t You Urinate on Me by Simple Minds

Will you stand above me
Whip out your golden shower rod
And rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling…down down down down
Sailing on the Yellow Sea
Call my name as we sword fight
And rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling…down down down down

February 5, 2010 | Categories: Human Sexuality, Music, Pop Culture | Tags: abba, africa, animal, blasphemous rumours, def leppard, depeche mode, don't you forget about me, Music, pop, rockj, simple minds, take a chance on me, toto | Leave a comment