About

I am Vlad Tepes, and I ruled the Principality of Wallachia and controlled much of Transylvania for three separate reigns during the 15th century. On several   occasions, though grossly outnumbered, I withstood the onslaught of the Ottoman hordes, even when Constantinople fell. A sign of my tactical genius and ruthlessness? Or a clear indication of how pussified the Byzantines were?

Unfortunately my untimely death meant that those Ottoman and Saxon assholes could write whatever they wanted about me, which would then lead to that Irish tit popularizing my name. 100 years after Stoker introduced the world to “Dracula”, it become a beacon to the rising population of effeminate emo kids who crave nothing more than to frolic around in white makeup and pretend that they are creatures of the night. Sigh…Sometimes I think that they are not even worth the stakes that I have reserved especially for them.